At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
