is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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