is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
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