i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
