I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
