hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
