They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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