I'm jealous of your bromance
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Oh god it's open bar.
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