my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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