my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
