The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
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