I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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