it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
