Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
