dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
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