Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
