Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
