the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
