# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
