matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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