with your own penis?
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
