Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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