Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
