i just google imaged poop.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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