so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
And my parents said I crawled through the house
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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