These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
