You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Randomize
