She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
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They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize