Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
