11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
So how was he last night?
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.