Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
