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Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
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