Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??