I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.