booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
birth control should be required to get into college
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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