I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize