My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
