you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
