Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
being pregnant is like rehab
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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