i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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