I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
