A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
