just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
