Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Randomize
