that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
