i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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