Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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