I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
