thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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