But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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