Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
