he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
