today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
