please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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