I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize