You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
