my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.