I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
