Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
