My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
