the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
