Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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