When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
you didnt know i had herpes?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
