that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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