hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
