Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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