I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
