Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
