I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize