She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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