Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
